(I've decided to start using fake names for people, because if I don't use names, it will get confusing, but I don't want to use real names until everyone knows :) so hopefully I won't be using fake names much longer!)
So... it's nearly 2 weeks since I made my first post on here. And I still haven't come out to anyone. There's been plenty of opportunities, but every time one's come up, I've chickened out. I think part of the reason is that I'm not sure who to come out to first. I know for sure it's not going to be a family member, because I don't WANT to come out to any of them. I just don't know which friend to come out to.
First I thought it should be Olivia, my BEST friend, who I tell everything to. You'd think this would be an obvious choice, except she's a bit homophobic, and we've pretended to be gay with each other for ages, so even though I know she'll still love me, I have a feeling she'll react worst =/
Then I thought Jess, who has a close friend who is bisexual so I know she'll be fine with it, and has had experience before. But she's got a lot going on in her life as it is, I don't want to add to it.
Originally, I was going to tell Evie first, because she's a very understanding person, but then her boyfriend dumped her and admitted he was gay. So that's probably not the best idea =L
Then there's Emily, who's the friend who thinks I'm having a gay relationship behind her back with Chloe (the girl I like), because I know for sure she'll accept me regardless of my sexuality and she won't be stupid about it like some of my other friends. But... well there is no but, except I'm worried she may tell Chloe, but then I know Emily well, if I asked her not to tell someone something, she wouldn't, so it's just me being paranoid =/
But then I also think, maybe it would be morally right to tell Chloe first? She's the kind of person who'd love me as a friend regardless, but if she doesn't like me back, I don't want it to harm our friendship... plus it's the hardest way. Telling someone you like them AND coming out at the same time??
So... I guess that's why I haven't come out yet, as I'm too confused about WHO to come out to. I may have actually come out to someone by the time you read this, but... any ideas?
Heyy, I saw you post on SZ and so I thought I come help out.
ReplyDeleteWell, the best choice I'd say would be Emily or Jess. Emily because you do not seem to have any reason to not make it her first. However, by telling Jess first you know you wont be judged and she can help you build up your confidence to tell others.
But Olivia might get hurt that you didn't tell her first, but my friend learnt that it is a really bad idea to come out to someone homophobic as my other friend is and they had a bit of a falling out because of it.
So I would say Jess would be the best choice, I'm sure having another bisexual to talk to might actually take her mind off whatever's going on around her, then Olivia and Emily.
Hope I helped =)
Tilly (ninjaicekreem)
I would either tell Olivia or Jess first. I say Olivia because she's your Best Friend and best friends have a good history. even if she's a bit homophobe it shouldnt be to big an issue. A) because your bi meaning you like both not just one or the other and if you point out to her u like guys she may understand that it isnt an issue also the whole time you knew ur sexual preference yet she didnt and your still tight.
ReplyDeleteJess because she seem like she'll be relaxed about it and even if she has stuff going on you could bring it up in a certian way where it isnt a problem. example, go out have some fun and talk coffee ect. and them slide in there the point real smooth like.. by "you know im bi right? I did tell you already no?" or something. she might be shocaked but at the same time she can proccess it like oh, have i been informed? not a big deal thing but just a relization point. XD
IDK. its hard to say. do what you feel most comfortable with. Ill keep reading ur blogs. yeah.
~Ciao