Saturday 25 December 2010
I Came Out!!!!
...To Jess! I was SO scared (I still feel a bit sick and shaky) but she was great about it, she said I was really brave for coming out and it was better to get it off my chest. I don't know what I was so worried about. I guess this is the start though... but at least I've told Jess :D I feel better about telling people now :)
Tuesday 14 December 2010
A Good/Bad Idea...
Well, as I've still been too wimpy to tell anyone, I made the decision to change my "Interested In" on Facebook instead. It is done. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad idea as people who I don't want to see will be able to see it too, but it IS easier, plus if anyone reacts badly to it, I can say my brother fraped me. Or just tell them to go f**k themselves, cuz I am who I am whether they like it or not.
Hmm... so I'm now sitting on my bed, wondering how/if people will react. Let's see how it goes... wish me luck!
Edit: I posted what I'd done on a site I'm on called SecretZen as I was feeling quite nervous about it and wanted some support, and not only did I get plenty of support, I inspired someone else to do the same! I feel so good knowing that my action helped someone else to come out =D
Hmm... so I'm now sitting on my bed, wondering how/if people will react. Let's see how it goes... wish me luck!
Edit: I posted what I'd done on a site I'm on called SecretZen as I was feeling quite nervous about it and wanted some support, and not only did I get plenty of support, I inspired someone else to do the same! I feel so good knowing that my action helped someone else to come out =D
Sunday 5 December 2010
Well... this sucks
(I've decided to start using fake names for people, because if I don't use names, it will get confusing, but I don't want to use real names until everyone knows :) so hopefully I won't be using fake names much longer!)
So... it's nearly 2 weeks since I made my first post on here. And I still haven't come out to anyone. There's been plenty of opportunities, but every time one's come up, I've chickened out. I think part of the reason is that I'm not sure who to come out to first. I know for sure it's not going to be a family member, because I don't WANT to come out to any of them. I just don't know which friend to come out to.
First I thought it should be Olivia, my BEST friend, who I tell everything to. You'd think this would be an obvious choice, except she's a bit homophobic, and we've pretended to be gay with each other for ages, so even though I know she'll still love me, I have a feeling she'll react worst =/
Then I thought Jess, who has a close friend who is bisexual so I know she'll be fine with it, and has had experience before. But she's got a lot going on in her life as it is, I don't want to add to it.
Originally, I was going to tell Evie first, because she's a very understanding person, but then her boyfriend dumped her and admitted he was gay. So that's probably not the best idea =L
Then there's Emily, who's the friend who thinks I'm having a gay relationship behind her back with Chloe (the girl I like), because I know for sure she'll accept me regardless of my sexuality and she won't be stupid about it like some of my other friends. But... well there is no but, except I'm worried she may tell Chloe, but then I know Emily well, if I asked her not to tell someone something, she wouldn't, so it's just me being paranoid =/
But then I also think, maybe it would be morally right to tell Chloe first? She's the kind of person who'd love me as a friend regardless, but if she doesn't like me back, I don't want it to harm our friendship... plus it's the hardest way. Telling someone you like them AND coming out at the same time??
So... I guess that's why I haven't come out yet, as I'm too confused about WHO to come out to. I may have actually come out to someone by the time you read this, but... any ideas?
So... it's nearly 2 weeks since I made my first post on here. And I still haven't come out to anyone. There's been plenty of opportunities, but every time one's come up, I've chickened out. I think part of the reason is that I'm not sure who to come out to first. I know for sure it's not going to be a family member, because I don't WANT to come out to any of them. I just don't know which friend to come out to.
First I thought it should be Olivia, my BEST friend, who I tell everything to. You'd think this would be an obvious choice, except she's a bit homophobic, and we've pretended to be gay with each other for ages, so even though I know she'll still love me, I have a feeling she'll react worst =/
Then I thought Jess, who has a close friend who is bisexual so I know she'll be fine with it, and has had experience before. But she's got a lot going on in her life as it is, I don't want to add to it.
Originally, I was going to tell Evie first, because she's a very understanding person, but then her boyfriend dumped her and admitted he was gay. So that's probably not the best idea =L
Then there's Emily, who's the friend who thinks I'm having a gay relationship behind her back with Chloe (the girl I like), because I know for sure she'll accept me regardless of my sexuality and she won't be stupid about it like some of my other friends. But... well there is no but, except I'm worried she may tell Chloe, but then I know Emily well, if I asked her not to tell someone something, she wouldn't, so it's just me being paranoid =/
But then I also think, maybe it would be morally right to tell Chloe first? She's the kind of person who'd love me as a friend regardless, but if she doesn't like me back, I don't want it to harm our friendship... plus it's the hardest way. Telling someone you like them AND coming out at the same time??
So... I guess that's why I haven't come out yet, as I'm too confused about WHO to come out to. I may have actually come out to someone by the time you read this, but... any ideas?
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