Sorry...

I've been so busy recently, I just haven't had a chance to come on here!
So, my last post was kinda vague. I told Jess. On Christmas Day. Over Facebook. Yeah.
I was so scared, but an appropriate point to talk about it came up. She was talking about this guy she fancies (he's my ex, so she knew I could give advice - and no, I don't mind her going out with my ex :) ), then she asked me how my love life was going. I just thought... it's now or never. So I did it! And she was great about it. She told me I was brave for being true to myself, and actually, a few weeks ago, admitted she thought she might be bi too. I now don't feel as alone in this :D
I've also come out to 3 more people since. First was another friend who I haven't mentioned before, Ella. As she went off to college whilst I went to 6th form, we don't often get a chance to speak to each other, but we got into a deep chat and I told her that I was bi and that I'd been worried about how people would react to the news. She was actually quite shocked by the fact that I thought she would possibly judge me for my sexuality, which actually reassured me a lot.
Second was Chloe. She was really supportive, and said how it doesn't change anything and never will. I haven't told her that I like her though. I'm still worried that would change things. I was actually quite hoping that when I came out to her, she'd admit that she liked me, and I was actually kinda disappointed when she didn't. I know that's kinda selfish, I can't expect her to like girls just for me, but you know, it still hurt a bit :/ But we're still just as close :)
Third was Olivia. All she said was "cool". I wasn't sure how to take that at first - I guessed that either it didn't bother her at all, it bothered her a lot but she didn't want to say because we're friends, or it was a bit of a shock and she didn't know how to react. I think it may have been the last one, because she didn't seem quite herself at first, but it wasn't long before she was back to her normal self and we're exactly the same around each other as we were before.
That was something I was really worried about after coming out to each person, that even though they'd said they were fine with it, they'd act differently around me, but they were fine, they were exactly the same as before. I feel far more comfortable about being bi. :)
I'm not planning on telling Evie just yet - she's in my Theatre class, and we're working on our practical exam piece, which is quite physical and involves quite heavy contact between all of us. Although I think she'll be fine with it, I don't want to risk her not feeling comfortable having contact with me, which could potentially wreck our piece, and therefore our grades. Our exam's on 8th April, so I plan to tell her after that :)
I want to tell Emily too, but as me and Chloe are still acting exactly the same around each other as before, I'm worried that she'll actually seriously think we're in a relationship, and although that's what I want, I can see it's not what Chloe wants, and I don't want rumours and shizzle spread about her. I know Emily wouldn't say anything, but if anything accidently got out... I just don't want it to happen. So that makes it hard.
Actually... after telling Chloe and having no reaction from her that she might possibly like me back, I tried to concentrate on possible other people to like. It's been only guys, as there's a lack of lesbian and bi girls in our 6th form, and I don't fancy Jess (and even if I did, she likes my ex, so it'd be irrelevant :L). Unfortunately, it's been unsuccessful - there's just no one I like as much as Chloe :( However, there is a new guy moving here (and he's joining my French class!) so I'm hoping we'll get on well :)
That's all now peoples! xD

I Came Out!!!!

...To Jess! I was SO scared (I still feel a bit sick and shaky) but she was great about it, she said I was really brave for coming out and it was better to get it off my chest. I don't know what I was so worried about. I guess this is the start though... but at least I've told Jess :D I feel better about telling people now :)

A Good/Bad Idea...

Well, as I've still been too wimpy to tell anyone, I made the decision to change my "Interested In" on Facebook instead. It is done. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad idea as people who I don't want to see will be able to see it too, but it IS easier, plus if anyone reacts badly to it, I can say my brother fraped me. Or just tell them to go f**k themselves, cuz I am who I am whether they like it or not.
Hmm... so I'm now sitting on my bed, wondering how/if people will react. Let's see how it goes... wish me luck!

Edit: I posted what I'd done on a site I'm on called SecretZen as I was feeling quite nervous about it and wanted some support, and not only did I get plenty of support, I inspired someone else to do the same! I feel so good knowing that my action helped someone else to come out =D

Well... this sucks

(I've decided to start using fake names for people, because if I don't use names, it will get confusing, but I don't want to use real names until everyone knows :) so hopefully I won't be using fake names much longer!)

So... it's nearly 2 weeks since I made my first post on here. And I still haven't come out to anyone. There's been plenty of opportunities, but every time one's come up, I've chickened out. I think part of the reason is that I'm not sure who to come out to first. I know for sure it's not going to be a family member, because I don't WANT to come out to any of them. I just don't know which friend to come out to.
First I thought it should be Olivia, my BEST friend, who I tell everything to. You'd think this would be an obvious choice, except she's a bit homophobic, and we've pretended to be gay with each other for ages, so even though I know she'll still love me, I have a feeling she'll react worst =/
Then I thought Jess, who has a close friend who is bisexual so I know she'll be fine with it, and has had experience before. But she's got a lot going on in her life as it is, I don't want to add to it.
Originally, I was going to tell Evie first, because she's a very understanding person, but then her boyfriend dumped her and admitted he was gay. So that's probably not the best idea =L
Then there's Emily, who's the friend who thinks I'm having a gay relationship behind her back with Chloe (the girl I like), because I know for sure she'll accept me regardless of my sexuality and she won't be stupid about it like some of my other friends. But... well there is no but, except I'm worried she may tell Chloe, but then I know Emily well, if I asked her not to tell someone something, she wouldn't, so it's just me being paranoid =/
But then I also think, maybe it would be morally right to tell Chloe first? She's the kind of person who'd love me as a friend regardless, but if she doesn't like me back, I don't want it to harm our friendship... plus it's the hardest way. Telling someone you like them AND coming out at the same time??
So... I guess that's why I haven't come out yet, as I'm too confused about WHO to come out to. I may have actually come out to someone by the time you read this, but... any ideas?

Hello!

Heyy, my name's Sophie, I'm 16, and I'm bisexual. I am yet to come out to anyone except randomers online, but I want to come out, so I'm making this as a diary of my coming out, about how I feel and how I go about it, partly to help me, partly to help other people going through the same thing.

I was 12 when I first questioned my sexuality. Before, I'd always just taken it as a given that girls liked guys and vice versa, because that's what you're taught as you grow up, and was what was expected of me. But when I was 12, I suddenly felt... I don't know, curious about girls, if that's the right way to say it? I read in magazines that it was normal to feel that way when you were going through puberty, so I took it as that being the reason behind it - besides, I knew for sure I liked guys, so I was straight, right?
So, a couple of years went by, I had a couple of boyfriends, and they felt completely natural, but the strange feeling about girls kept niggling. I never felt like I fancied any girls though, I was different... particularly with pictures of girls. I'd look at their boobs, but feel guilty afterwards because that wasn't what I was supposed to do. I was straight, straight girls didn't do that. Then I heard about bisexuality (I met someone who was bisexual, though I didn't fancy her). It made more sense - being able to like guys AND girls at the same time, and not necessarily the same amount. I still didn't identify myself as being bisexual though - I was still confused, especially as I didn't fancy this girl. Of course, I now realise how stupid it was to think this - I've never fancied every straight guy I've met, so why should I fancy a bisexual girl simply because of the fact she's bisexual?
It wasn't until I was 15 that things changed. I had a sudden urge to kiss one of my girl friends. I'd never felt this way before towards a girl, and it scared me a little. All of a sudden, I'd gone from simply looking at pictures of girls to wanting to have physical contact of a... well, more sexual nature than I'd previously had, although kissing isn't particularly sexual. I continued to feel this way, even when I started to fancy another guy - this girl was always niggling in the back of my mind. I also met another girl who was bisexual, and even though I never fancied her, I still felt like I would have liked to kiss her (most people can relate to this, whatever your sexuality!!). Also, I would look at pictures of girls and think, whoaaa, I would, and it's what I do automatically - it's like what I was thinking before but felt too guilty to admit I like it. I started to come to terms with the fact that I WAS more interested in girls than I would be if I was straight, and this September, I identified myself as bisexual.
However, my feelings for my friend have continued to grow, and I still like her as much more than a friend. This is currently extremely confusing for me, as she's the only straight girl I've ever met who I've had feelings of any strength for in that way (besides pictures of girls I've never met, but let's exclude that xD). This has led me to think that maybe, she's not straight either, but I feel guilty for thinking this - who am I to decide someone else's sexuality? Hell, I didn't even have control over my own! But still, I have wondered this, particularly as a mutual friend of ours has seriously asked us if we're having a gay relationship behind her back... so idk.

So that's me! And I'm going to continue this as I continue my journey of coming out... and who knows, maybe I'll even get with the girl? ;)